Thursday, October 23, 2008
I was looking at Sáin last night when it hit me – my kid is really growing up. Laying there on the living room floor reading a Harry Potter book she looked more like a teenager than a kid.
I’m not the kind of mom that gets weepy when I think of my kids growing up. In fact, I’m quite the opposite. My main goal as a mom is to make myself obsolete by raising independent, self-sufficient kids. And I seem to be succeeding.
Here’s my concern. Right now I know what’s going on with Sáin’s blood sugars. I know her trends, I know her rates, I know the carbs she eats, and really you could say I know her diabetes care inside and out. But that will change. One of these days she won’t need any help with any of it.
I am raising Sáin to care for herself. I let her make mistakes and over bolus (as long as I am there with juice in hand to correct the low) or under bolus (I am also there to correct the high) but I want her to make mistakes now and learn from them while I’m there to help rather than wait until she’s alone and trying to do this by herself. Truthfully, she makes very few mistakes.
For nearly 3 and a half years my job has been keeping my kid alive but more and more that job is being handed off to Sáin. I alternate between beaming with pride at how amazingly my kid handles such an unpredictable disease and complete panic at the thought of not “playing pancreas” for her. 99 percent of the time pride wins!
Besides, I can still sneak into her room at night to check her day’s numbers and charts thanks to her CGM!
(Two points – I realize I am talking about a 9 year old but if you know the 9 year old I’m talking about, none of this will surprise you. One of the meanings of Sáin’s name is “little, old wise one” and she’s always lived up to that meaning. Also, there are still days when Sáin won’t even poke her own finger so I am far from obsolete yet.)