Monday, July 20, 2009

The not-so-happy Monday night post

I tried.

I tried and tried and then tried some more to write a positive blog post but I can't do it. It's not that things are horrible; I know they could be worse. It's not that good things haven't happened; I could easily blog about the kids' trip to Oregon, the JDRF banquet or karate camp this week.

That's not it. I am just tired.

I am tired of things being hard. I am tired of people being stupid. And I am tired of having to fight for every little thing in my life.

I am tired of putting on a happy face when I really want to just be pissed off and yell at the world. I am tired of people telling me things will get better -- really? After 20 + years of hearing that you stop believing it.

I am tired of people who have never really used the US medical system telling me it's fine -- what I wish for all those who think it's fine is a chronically ill child. (Sounds mean, I know, but at least I'm honest.) I'll give you a year fighting for your child's life and future then lets see how you feel.

But what I am most tired of is nothing going right. Let me clarify, things have gone right but every thing has been a battle. The big things, the small things and everything in between has involved so much work. Can't something just be easy?

1 comment:

Cheri said...

I am so sorry. I wish I could say something witty and something more than "things will get better." Just know that I am always here to talk, go out with, have you over, etc, whatever you need. It is okay to be angry and pissed off at the world. While my kids' issues are difficult, they aren't life threatening, so I can't even pretend to imagine how difficult things are. Argh.