memories

At the Beat the Bridge kick off lunch last week I got the opportunity to meet a family whose son was diagnosed the same day and at the same hospital as Sáin. We were talking about how the doctors sent their son down to Mary Bridge in Tacoma. It was odd. I knew there was another kid and I knew we got the last bed in Children’s that night but somehow I had always been able to gloss over this memory.

The doctors were conferencing outside our suite in the ER. This was just before they came in to tell us the diagnosis. Dr. Richards said, “Send them. This little girl isn’t stable enough to safely transport.”

For three years I’ve accepted the fact that Sáin was 12 hours from serious or fatal complications. But that’s all I saw it as – a fact. I had removed the emotion from it. It was a coping mechanism, I know, but now the phrase “not stable enough to safely transport” won’t leave my head. It’s haunting me.

What people don’t understand is Sáin was sick but not what any outside person would view as serious. She went to school the day of diagnosis and even attended a birthday party 2 days before. Diabetes is deceptive that way… it kills you from the inside out.

I know it’s a cliché but it really can all change in the blink of an eye.

As hard of an anniversary as it is, I am glad 05 April is our diagnosis anniversary and not the anniversary of something much worse.