Monday, March 31, 2008

Stupid diabetes!

Sáin is sick of diabetes. I could leave the post at that but it wouldn’t tell the whole story.

Saturday will be Sáin’s 3rd diagnosis anniversary. This is the first year she’s really acknowledge the day. (It’s marked with a frowny face on her calendar.)

This is also the first year Sáin has fully understood what this disease is doing to her body. She has a better understanding of the medical side of this disease than I would like her to but Sáin is a smart little girl and she seemed to inherit my knack for research. On one hand I am proud of her researching ability (how many 8 year olds do you see reading medical journals?) but on the other hand I want to protect her as long as I can.

Give me the “Mommy, where do babies come from?” or “Mommy what are drugs?” or even the “Mommy what does it mean that the bad guys is a sex offender?” questions any day. I would much rather deal with those than the questions I’ve been getting of late. “Mommy, can you explain what brain scarring is?” and “How long would I be able to live on dialysis if my kidneys fail?”

In so many ways the last few weeks have been like the first weeks after diagnosis for Sáin. Sáin puts on the brave face for the public. She’s able to tell her story, fight for a cure, and appear to be a normal 8 year old girl but when the lights are out and she’s alone in her bed the fears and pain are overwhelming.

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