Thursday, August 7, 2008

My Little Girl

It's been a trying day for my little girl.

Sain had her endo appointment which went well. Her A1C was a little higher, a few adjustments need to be made to her morning bolus rate and it looks like we're going to have to do a few fasts to re-adjust her basal rates. All in all it was a fine appointment.

The appointment isn't what got to Sain. We found out today that Gloria had a stroke caused by diabetic ketoacidos and this is what caused her coma. (up until now we haven't known the actual cause) Although there are some positive signs -- a moving toe and a little leg movement -- the reality of a diabetes induced stroke at age 11 is hard for anyone, let alone an almost 9 year old with the same disease, to comprehend.

Sain was quiet the whole drive home from Children's. She wanted a much smaller than normal dinner. (actually she didn't even want dinner but agreed to eat a little) She is scared and I don't know what else to do. I've reassured her, her doctors have reassured her, her grandparents have reassured her, heck, even her little brother has reassured her but Gloria's condition hits too close to home.

So I listen. I listen to the fears of my little girl and want to burst into tears. But I listen and I comfort and I keep her talking about her feelings. I listen to the valid fears; I listen to the irrational ones. Then I listen to this, "Mommy, please don't let that happen to me." I kissed her head and promised I would protect her.

Within minutes Sain was asleep. She's exhausted both physically and emotionally.

I pray to God I can always keep my promise.

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