That is how I feel today.
But today, like all days, has things that need to be done so I push that nagging sick feeling to the background and I go about my day.
I will have a smile on my face even though what I really want to do is cry and I will be one of the most productive employees in my company even though I want nothing more than to sleep.
I will not snap at the people who don’t do their jobs whose task I will end up doing and I won’t think twice about helping out another department even though I am in the midst of a DOL audit.
Before you get on my case about this self-pity, please note that the last 19 years (yes, 19 years) of my life have been an uphill battle and a fight that would’ve broken most people. I will continue to fight but I am seriously tired of it. When do I get a break?
I sometimes think if I was a recovering drug addict or rehabilitated criminal then society would cut me a break but because I’ve tried to do the right thing most of my life and I’ve tried to take responsibility for my actions then I don’t get a break.
I know, tomorrow is a new day but when does it get better?
(Because I am, at my core, an optimist and self-pity last less time than it took me to write this post, I have to include this. (You can also read about it here.) For all who’ve contributed to JDRF, this is one of the things your money has funded. THANK YOU!)